The Evolution of Monkey's Pride

On May 17, 1318, Matilda and Maggie Bananomanoman opened Mother Daughter Fake Bananas, a company that produced synthetic bananas for decoration. Matilda and Maggie (who was just 12 at the time) each owned 50% of the company, sharing the CEO position. The decision to open the company came after Maggie sculpted a fake banana in art class at school, which Matilda then sold online for a highly profitable margin. Seeing a business opportunity, Matilda quit her "career" as a stay-at-home mom to open the business. Initially, Matilda did not want Maggie to have any involvement, but Murphy forced Matilda to let Maggie participate.

Mother Daughter Fake Bananas was headquartered at the Bananomanoman house, Maggie handcrafting all the bananas on the kitchen table while Matilda handled the paperwork and distribution in the living room. The company gained only minimal traction in the Yonkers market, which the city's mixed-species demographic putting a damper on the monkey-centric products. The company continued to struggle, as Murphy and Marley became irritated by the business consuming space in the house and Matilda and Maggie's time. The company managed to stay afloat by marketing directly to monkeys, most of whom were extremely loyal and dedicated customers.

In July 1321, Marley won the city-wide Yonkers spelling bee, and was rewarded with 500,000 stuffiebucks. Noticing the growing cracks in his parents' relationship, Marley gave 250,000 stuffiebucks to Murphy and 250,000 stuffiebucks to Matilda, hoping to take the strain off of their damage family life. Matilda used the money to buy a banana plantation on the southeast coast of Furria. The opening of this plantation allowed Mother Daughter Fake Bananas to begin growing and selling real, edible bananas, which greatly increased the company's number of customers. In September 1321, Matilda and Maggie decided to rename the company Mother Daughter Gone Bananas! (exclamation point included). After the company started selling edible bananas, it stopped creating the fake bananas, and experienced an extreme increase in profit.

In March 1322, Matilda and Murphy divorced. This was partly due to Matilda's constant preoccupation with her business, giving little to no attention to her husband and son. Murphy and Marley moved to another house in Yonkers, while Matilda and Maggie stayed in the family's original home. Maggie and Matilda both remained on friendly terms with Marley, and Maggie kept in-touch with her father, but Matilda and Murphy vowed never to speak to each other after the divorce.

After Murphy and Marley left, Matilda decided it was the perfect opportunity to expand the business. She the house and bought a large mansion for her and Maggie in 1323, and also bought a huge warehouse and office building. She hired dozens of employees, salespeople, truck drivers, and distributors to handle the ever-growing operation. The company delivered bananas to all over Furria. At this time, Maggie had become slightly disinterested with the business. Since they stopped selling fake bananas (which she personally handcrafted), Maggie's participation in the operation was quite minimal. The mother-daughter team also experienced several classic mother-daughter arguments.

In 1324, Maggie left home to go to Monaunkibou University in Monaunkibou, Furria. Obviously, she was not able to continue working for the company at college, so Maggie forfeited her 50% to Matilda. With Maggie gone, Matilda now controlled 100% of Mother Daughter Gone Bananas!. Matilda saw this as an opportunity to rebrand and relocate the business.

On November 27, 1324, Matilda opened a new location of the business in Monkeytown, Furria, knowing that it would be a better market for bananas. She renamed the company to Monkey's Pride, since it was no longer a mother-daughter business. She bought another banana orchard near the first one to help with the high demand.

Monkey's Pride became wildly successful, with the monkey-dominated community of Monkeytown massively helping the sales. The business's success made Matilda very wealthy, and she was able to buy a second mansion in Mopsy, Furria (a famous resort city). The original location of the company in Yonkers, came to be known as the Monkey's Pride Yonkers branch, and still serves as the headquarters of the company. In 1324, Matilda hired Felix Baboon as the regional manager of the Monkeytown branch. Matilda herself continued to fill the roll of regional manager at the Yonkers branch.

In 1327, Matilda opened a third branch of the business in Gavel, Furria. Later that same year, she opened a fourth branch in Redford, Furria. These new branches were moderately successful, but nothing compared to the Monkeytown branch. Matilda appointed regional managers for each branch, delegating most of her former responsibilities to the managers. In 1328, Matilda hired Banana Bean Pucenose as the regional manager of the Yonkers branch, allowing Matilda to fully focus on his position as CEO.

The company continued to gain popularity and a growing clientele. In 1330, Matilda bought a third mansion in Furrington, easily blending into the upper-crust society of the Furrian capital. That year, Matilda opened a Monkey's Pride branch in Furrington. That was followed by a sixth branch in Samutropolis. Matilda became the richest woman in Furria, and the fourth richest person overall.

Monkey's Pride Chutown, the seventh branch, was opened in 1331, followed by Port Milo in 1332, Pooh and Prince Kringle City in 1334, and Skippy in 1335. The twelfth, latest, and first international branch opened in Pochester in 1336. In 1333, the Chutown branch was closed due to poor sales.

On April 2, 1337, Matilda's mother, Mia Redford, invited her daughter to come visit her at Geezer Groves Retirement Home. At first, Matilda (who had been awkwardly avoiding contact with her mother) claimed that her job made her too busy to visit Mia. Matilda eventually caved after two days of Mia's persistence. However, Matilda did not want to go awkwardly visit her mother alone, so she asked Maggie to accompany her. Maggie refused, so she asked Marley instead, who happily agreed.

On April 5, Matilda (who was in her Furrington mansion at the time) took a plane to Yonkers, picked up Marley from his and Melissa's house (because Marley and Melissa only had one car, which Melissa needed for work), then drove to Geezer Groves. After an uncomfortably nostalgic visit, Matilda drove back to the airport on April 9. Mia, would could have stayed at Geezer Groves while Matilda drove to the airport, insisted to come on the car ride, as she was trying to persuade Matilda to extend her visit. Marley, who had actually enjoyed the visit, was in the back seat of the car. The first planned stop on the car ride was to drop Marley off at his and Melissa's house, then arrive at the airport so Matilda could fly back to Furrington. Unfortunately, the car never made it to Marley's house. While driving on a narrow road surrounded by cliffs, Matilda became distracted, and accidentally drove the car off the edge of a massive ravine. The crashed into the valley below, killing Mia upon impact.

Later that day, at the Yonkers Holy Tenderness Hospital, Matilda was treated for several minor lacerations. Marley was in a much worse shape. During the roll down the ravine, Marley was flung through the side window the vehicle. At the bottom of the cliff, the car landed on the side that Marley was hanging out of, crushing him under the weight of the vehicle. At the hospital, Marley was rushed into an emergency surgery to repair his crushed organs. Even if Marley had survived the emergency surgery, he would have been completely paralyzed, due to her spine being snapped in three places from the weight of the vehicle. Dr. Private LaChillz operated on Marley's organs, and managed to salvage most organs, except the pancreas, which had to be removed. Dr. Nutella Nuttingham, a neurosurgeon, operated on Marley's fractured skull and swollen brain. After the surgery, Marley was induced into a coma to give his brain time to stop swelling. Matilda was devastated when Dr. LaChillz told her that, if he survived the coma, he would live as a paralyzed diabetic (since the pancreas was removed). Marley, who had to be put on life support to assist his damaged lungs, was kept barely alive for a week. Marley's wife, Melissa, slept in Marley's hospital room all week.

Matilda's mother's funeral took place a week after the incident, on April 16. There, Matilda saw Murphy, Maggie, and Maggie's son, Manny, for the first time since Mia's death and Marley's injury. On that same day, Matilda was called by Dr. Nutella Nuttingham. Nutella told Matilda that Marley's brain had suddenly swollen beyond repair, and he had been pronounced brain dead. The Bananomanoman family was overcome with grief as they took Marley off life support later that day.

On April 18, after a day of reflection on her life, Matilda decided to chose her family over business. She held a press conference at the original Yonkers location of Monkey's Pride to announce that she will be stepping down as CEO of Monkey's Pride, also announcing that Felix Baboon (regional manager of the Monkeytown branch) would be promoted to CEO of the company. The announcement sent waves through the company and the country.

After Matilda's resignation, CEO Felix Baboon moved from Monkeytown to Yonkers, to oversee the company at the headquarters. He started a new initiative to appeal to other species of the country, not exclusively monkeys. Baboon bought a new plot of land to begin growing other fruits such as oranges and apples. In July 1337, Baboon announced that the company would be renamed Baboon's Pride, hoping that removing the word "monkey" from the title would invite other species to buy from the company. In November 1337, Baboon announced that new restaurant-like locations would be opening in the next year, serving hip banana-based smoothies and pastries. These locations also had seats and tables inside the building. CEO Baboon hoped that these hip "eat-in" locations would gain attention from young customers.

Currently, Baboon's Pride is one of the largest Furria-based companies in the nation.

The Hundred-Year Hag: Birdena Bittlemeier

Birdena Isadora Bittlemeier was born on June 3, 1216 to Dorothy Bittlemeier and an unknown father in Yonkers, Samua. Hours after Birdena was born, Dorothy left the baby on the steps of the Sisters of Contentment Convent in Yonkers. Birdena was taken in as a ward of the convent, and was raised by the nuns there. When Birdena turned 15, she became a nun herself. Birdena did not usually conform to the rules of the convent, and she had a casual and apathetic approach towards the Catholic religion. This resulted in Birdena being seen as a delinquent in the eyes of the upper level nuns.

In 1250, when Birdena was 34, she had been a nun for nearly twenty years. During her time as a nun, she had held secret relationships with many men from outside the convent. Her boyfriend in 1250, Bob Dratt, was homeless on the streets of Yonkers. Bob wanted Birdena to leave the convent and join him on the streets. Birdena refused, saying that she only stayed in the convent for free food and shelter. However, one of the nuns found out about Birdena and Bob's relationship and reported it to the head nun. Since nuns were not allowed to have such relationships, Birdena was excommunicated from the convent in 1253.

No longer a nun, Birdena was forced to join Bob on the streets. Bob was an avid burglar, and stole enough food and money to keep the couple afloat. In 1258, Bob was arrested for robbery, leaving Birdena alone on the streets. While Bob was in jail, Birdena attempted to steal enough food to keep her alive. In 1260, Birdena sneaked into a wealthy mansion party to take some of the food. At the party, she met Al Kamp, who was the uber-wealthy host of the party. After Birdena confessed to Al that she was homeless and planning to rob him, Al offered her a large basket of food. Following their first encounter, Birdena regularly came to Al to get food and money. Eventually, this bloomed into a romantic affair. Al Kamp, who was a well-known business man in Yonkers, was married to Sylvia Kamp at the time. Sylvia had not idea that her husband was having an affair with a homeless woman.

In 1261, Sylvia finally discovered her husband's affair. Al and Sylvia immediately got a divorce, and Birdena moved into the mansion with Al. After living with Al for almost a year, Birdena discovered that Bob Dratt was released from jail in 1262. Bob found Birdena soon after his release, and was furious at her for abandoning him. Birdena shrugged him off, completely disinterested with the thought of him. Birdena and Al were married in 1264. After her marriage to Al, Birdena gained access to Al's massive wealth.

Al Kamp and Bob Dratt were both drafted in 1263 and served in the Samuan military until the war's end in 1267. At the conclusion of the war, Samua was annexed by the bordering country of Furria, and Yonkers became a Furrian city.

Thanks to her rich new husband, Birdena attended Mason Medical College in Samu Beach (a smaller city on the outskirts of Yonkers) and became an official doctor in 1269. Birdena specialized in plastic surgery. At medical school, Birdena dated Tony Waltzer, while she was still married to Al. While Birdena was in her early fifties at this time, Tony was a normal college-age student, making a very large age gap. After Birdena graduated, Birdena and Tony moved back to Yonkers, were they bought an apartment. Birdena sent the divorce papers to Al in the mail, and they couple was officially separated in 1271. Tony proposed to Birdena later in 1271, and the couple was married in March 1272. Birdena worked as a doctor at Tony's private medical practice, Freshwell Care Center. However, the couple disagreed over children, as Birdena did not want any kids and Tony did.  Additionally, Tony disapproved of Birdena's medical techniques. In September 1272, Birdena and Tony were divorced. Tony allowed Birdena to continue to work at Freshwell Care Center. Unfortunately, Birdena's medical license was revoked in January 1273 after a malpractice law suit. Birdena left Freshwell Care Center and got a new apartment. During this time, she begun to work at the Yonkers Orphanage as a manager and caretaker, which gave her enough money to keep off the streets.

In 1274, Birdena met Bob Dratt on the streets of Yonkers. Bob and Birdena, after several weeks of anger due to Birdena's betrayal, eventually reconciled. Birdena allowed Bob to move into her apartment. After living together for three years, Birdena and Bob got married in 1277. Just like her past two marriages, Birdena kept her own last name. In 1279, the couple had a daughter, Kit Bittlemeier. (Birdena also demanded that Kit inherited her last name, instead of Bob's.) Birdena, who really did not want children, gave the infant Kit to the Sisters of Contentment Convent, the same place Birdena had grown up in. In 1281, Birdena filed for divorce from Bob. She gave him no reason for the divorce, other than the fact that she had grown "bored" with him. The couple separated in the summer of 1281. After her third divorce, Birdena moved into the suburbs of Yonkers. Having exhausted the wealth she retained from her marriage to Al Kamp, Birdena bought an old barn. The barn was not on a street and did not have an address.

Birdena now lived alone in her barn, with her daughter still living in the Catholic convent. At this time, Birdena started practicing illegal surgeries to increase her own income. Since her medical license was revoked, Birdena was highly secretive about the surgeries. Birdena established several practices over a long period of time, one of which included Shelly's Shell Shack, where she operated on turtle shells. Also at this time, she begun a small wedding planning business with zero experience as a wedding planner.

In 1303, when Kit was 24, she left the Sisters of Contentment Convent at her father's request. Bob Dratt, Kit's father, had visited Kit frequently while she was a nun, and the pair had a healthy relationship. Birdena and Kit, however, barely knew each other. Bob (who had eventually gotten a job and bought a house), invited Kit to come live with him. While she was living with her father, Kit had a relationship with  a man named Jack Jerry. Jack came to live with Kit and Bob in 1304. On May 27, 1305, Kit and Jack had twin daughters, Ella and Bella Bittlemeier. In September 1305, Kit and Jack separated. Just a few days later, Kit's father, Bob Dratt, drowned in a jet skiing accident while on vacation in the Bearibbeans. With no other place to go, Kit and her twin daughters moved into Birdena's house.

Birdena reluctantly allowed her daughter and granddaughters to live with her. Kit, an abnormally kind and perfect person, had not grudge against her mother, despite the fact that Birdena gave her to the convent. Kit, who never went to college, became an interior designer. In 1307, Kit and her daughters moved to their own house in a neighborhood near Birdena's old barn. In 1309, Bella and Ella attended PS-22.

Birdena became a frequent crowd member on the Judge Mia reality series, which kick-starting her acting career. On the TV series, Birdena begun as a background character and evolved into a fan-favorite, becoming a central character by the time the series ended in 1311. Birdena also appeared in several commercials during her time on the series.

In 1311, Birdena was forced to move to Geezer Groves Retirement Home, leaving her barn house behind. However, Birdena was allowed less constrictions as time went on, and by October of that year, Birdena was living part-time in both Geezer Groves and her barn house. Kit, Ella, and Bella came to visit Birdena frequently, and Birdena slowly forged a relationship with her own daughter that she never had before.

On December 9, 1315, Birdena died in her sleep at the age of 99 at Geezer Groves. There was no real medical reason for her death, and the doctor who performed her autopsy simply said that the cause of death was "being old." Kit was devastated by her mother's death, and set up a memorial shrine at Birdena's barn house instead of a funeral. Kit invited several of Birdena's "acquaintances" to the memorial service at the barn, including Judge Mia, Buck Snortleson, the other cast members of Judge Mia, and Birdena's two living ex-husbands. Judge Mia, who had been forced to share a room with Birdena while they were both at Geezer Groves Retirement Home, reluctantly attended the service. Tony Waltzer also attended the memorial, but Al Kamp refused.

Birdena is buried in Monkey Hollow Graveyard in Yonkers, Furria, with a stone engraved with one of her famous quotes: "You expect us to believe that crap?!" The grave is still visited by fans of the Judge Mia series, and Birdena goes down in history as one of the most popular and most hated reality TV stars.

In 1316, Kit, Bella, and Ella moved to the city of Justine in northern Elland, a hub for interior design. Kit started a design business in Justine which became very successful.

In 1330, Bella married Barney Stein (taking his last name), and the couple moved to Bitty City, a medium-sized city southeast of Pochester. Bella and Barney had twin sons in 1333 (Bobby and Billy), and then a daughter in 1336 (Victoria). Bella currently works as a low-level politician, and was elected into the city council of Bitty City in 1334. Her husband, Barney, is a freelance musician and has released several instrumental albums.

Ella used her few appearances on Judge Mia to launch a successful acting career. In 1327, she moved to Pochester to help her career. She starred in many blockbuster films in the late 1320s and 1330s. As of 1337, Ella is not married, but she has had many celebrity boyfriends due to her fame. Ella dated Prince Leo of Furria from 1329 to 1332.

Update (January 9, 2018):

Bella and Barney had another daughter, Eloise Stein, in 1338. Bella was a major candidate in the 1346 Pochester mayoral election, but ultimately lost. Barney Stein won three Ellish Music Awards in 1343 for his album, Next to Nothing.

In 1340, Ella married Furrian rock star Chuck Mongoose. She moved from Pochester to Furrington in 1340 to live with Chuck, a successful recording artist. However, Chuck toured annually and was often absent, causing Ella to divorce him in 1342.

Ella and Chuck remarried in 1345, and had a son named James Mongoose in 1346.